“dream” guy

I did not have a good night’s rest last night as my dad and I were busy tinkering with his new gadget: the new iPad. It was 4am when I finally hit the sack and even then my mind and my eyes refused to cooperate. They wanted to stay awake. Finally at half past four in the morning I slept, I think. I woke up early again around 6am, went back to sleep and woke up again around 8 or 9.

But what struck me in those drifting in between sleep and waking up was that I dreamt of the “man” and he was nothing like the men who fit my type. Physically, he was far too different. I have always been drawn to skinny men. I don’t like men with extra “fat” on them. I have always been drawn to skinny, lanky men.

Next, the guy in my dream was not the sensitive, serious, artistic types that I like and prefer. He was outgoing, warm and funny and he liked hugging me in that dream. You see I have always liked serious men. Men who are more artistic and creative in temperament rather than the “hi, how do you do” types.

What’s more was that it happened in Thailand where I supposedly went to for an outreach with kids. When I met him there IN THE DREAM, I wasn’t even remotely interested in him because he was totally the opposite of what I wanted in a guy.

It was only when I woke up and thought to myself “what a weird dream that was” that it hit me that probably the guy God will give me will be far different from what I prefer and I’ll meet him during the most unexpected of times. Another thing that jiggled my mind when I woke up was that in the dream, my brother J liked the man and approved of him, telling me “he likes you, tsi” and “he will take care of you”. That is something. You see my bro is quite outspoken when he doesn’t approve of a guy I’m seeing and won’t mince words.

I said a prayer after processing the dream and how I felt afterwards. In my mind I kept telling myself “he’s not my type” but I felt loved, respected, at peace and unafraid. Some of the things I have been asking God to be present in my relationship with my future husband after quite a tumultuous and confusing experience in the past.

Lord Jesus, wherever he is, guide him, protect him and make him into the man You want him to be.:) Amen. I’m excited.

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He turned my life around!

That one glass of Coca Cola last night at KFC got me.  It was already past 12 midnight this morning when I suddenly remembered Rica Joy and Nap’s prophetic words during the 2010 prophetic service. I had just resigned from the University of the Philippines’ Marine Science Institute (UP MSI), without a job, broken and broke and with a BIG question for God:  “Lord, what do YOU really want me to do?”  Then, I was already ready to ask Him that and to obey.  I had ran away from teaching for tooooo loooong. No different from Jonah, I guess.

And so I leafed through the pages of last year’s journal and I found the words that God gave through Rica Joy.  In it were His promises that I would come to know and see what His plans were for me.  It wasn’t only for 2010 but it would continue up to 2011 and 2012.  Nap also spoke to me that 2010 was either the year I stepped into my destiny or I’d miss it and there would be another delay.  Hopeless was one word that described me that time.  I had called several schools from USC, CNU, STC, CIE, CIC and even CDU.  No available teaching positions.  No open doors but then I didn’t want just any job either.  I now wanted what God wanted for me this time even if it meant a teaching job.  Try as I might to deny it I knew He had called me to teach.

In the Bible, Lot’s wife got into a whole lot of trouble when she looked back.  She froze in time.  But today, I look back because my heart is grateful at how God has brought me to where He wanted me to be.  His way, His time and His plan.  I didn’t even have a hand in it except to jump in and obey.

When I said “yes” to His plan, doors suddenly opened.  Discovery Camp to teach young kids and just this year, at St. Theresa’s College to teach young people.  As I am wont to say in my posts, teaching is a privilege and a blessing.  I now see that.

with my friend, Ann, helping me out as a chaperone for my class' photowalk activity (my smile looks as if I just received 1M pesos for shopping!)

 On the pages of last year’s journal, I had written some of the organizations that I had dreamed of working in.  These were the orgs (in no particular order) that I wanted to work in:  ADB, UNDP, UN, the World Bank, Ayala Foundation and Museum, NEDA, Congress (as a researcher), Cebu City Mayor’s Management Team and even the Malacanang Presidential Management Staff.  I wanted to do it my way but every door was closed.  When I finally surrendered and let go of all these dreams of serving in the government and public sector through NGOs and civil society orgs, doors opened.  Kingdom Irony 101:  When you lose your life for Him, you’ll find it.  🙂 haha!

 {what’s left of the group after my Philippine History class’ photo walk activity along Colon St. this afternoon 🙂 }

When we obey there’s joy, peace and a feeling that everything just falls into place.  Yes, the dream of serving in the government and the public sector is still there but it’s in His hands.  He can give and He can take it away.  All I know is that I am blessed to have known my students last year and this year in Discovery Camp, my students this semester at ST. Theresa’s College and the teachers I work with.  I don’t know what lies ahead next semester or next year but my future is secure in His hands now.

{i will miss these young people after this semester. so glad to have been a part of their lives}

divine appointments 🙂

STC stint

Even now I am still amazed at how God moved on my behalf for this stint at STC.  It was not something I had planned or even thought about.  Okay, maybe for a split second I thought about it once last year but it was never a serious one.  Oh, the suddenlies of God!

It was a typical Saturday afternoon and I was finishing off my lesson plan simulation.  The three nights before that were toxic.  I could not move and make my lesson plan from scratch.  How was I to do it?  The thought of making a plan was daunting to me.  It was Saturday morning that I finished off in the physical what my mind had only outlined and conceived.  I wanted to chicken out and skip class but then I remembered that nobody wins a battle or the war by running away.  I decided to go.

Good thing I went and presented my lesson.  Ms. D asked me after my simulation {out of  curiosity} how I deal with the younger ones since my demeanor and personality was for older kids, read:  college students.  She then asked me if I was interested in teaching college kids again since they were looking for a History teacher.  Wow!  I remember being ecstatic about it that I couldn’t give a very impressive or coherent response.  Overwhelmed was one word that described how I felt.  I knew it was a God-thing.  I had already laid that desire down at the altar and told Him I would follow Him where He’ll take me.  I had not dreamt that I would, one day, go back to teaching young people again though deep in my heart I had always told Him I still wanted to do so.

with my Nursery kids reading a tale about fishes and sharks

So there, God is bringing me to new places, new people and new experiences.  One thing that strikes me now is that it truly is effortless.  It was Ms. D who contacted the registrar.  I told myself that if M. would give her “yes” to this then this is God.  My co-teacher, Teacher M. told me that it sounded impossible that M. would allow me to teach in another school.  Lo and behold, when M. replied her words were very positive, supportive and encouraging.  I was dumbfounded.  God truly works in ways that are higher than what we can think of or even imagine.

This week, God told me during worship that it’s all about Him and His Kingdom and what He wants to do through me at STC and in this generation.  Yes, there are things He has asked me to give up but – step by step – I’m seeing that it is because He has plans and agendas that need to be laid out before a generation and a nation and sometimes the things that are precious to me get in His way. 🙂

One more thing:  God redeems and He is a God who gives us a million chances again.  He redeemed and continues to redeem my mistakes at DC almost four years ago and now He is redeeming my loss and failure in teaching in the college level again.  This time I have learned not to take His blessings lightly and take them for granted.

mishmashed thoughts

This would look good with a yellow or green or pink cardigan -- sigh

Just got back from the mall where Mitzil and I spent a good two hours looking for the perfect dress for this Saturday’s Art Exhibit at DC.  Alas, I could not find the dress that could make my heart beat faster.  I’ve started looking for this full-skirted, bustier 1950s style of dress that I could wear with a black bolero since last December to no avail.  Instead, I found what I wanted in a Wedding website here in the internet tonight. 😉  I’ve until tomorrow evening to find that elusive dress. Maybe I’ll find that in my ever dependable and surprising downtown store. *wink!*

It’s a blessing how real, covenant friends allow you to let your hair down and just be.  I am reminded of the line from Proverbs “there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  Thank God He connected Mitzil to Happy and me not just spiritually but by affinity now.

Dream BIG. What dream did God give you?

While I was pondering on the previous post about Rebecca St. James getting engaged at 33, I could not help but think about the many dreams I have that I’ve been praying for.  One big dream I have is to see this nation change.  Second, is I’ll say this out loud now ‘coz God’s teaching me to be real with myself these days:  I want to marry that person whom I can fulfill God’s purposes in our generation together.   So this simply means that our purposes would have to be aligned.

I chanced upon this site: Delightfully Engaged 🙂

...as finding the right color board! LOL!

If only finding the right one was as easy...


Sweetly Delightful!!!


What a fresh motif! Soothing!

Like my prayer for my personal life, I’ve always asked God that my life would bring honor to Him even in my mistakes and weaknesses.  Likewise, I want Him to be glorified by every decision and choice I make.

Third, I pray that this country’s educational system would be revolutionized.  That a new generation of teachers who know God would rise up.  And that the public schools and its students would see new school buildings, a wide array (array jud!) of instructional materials and more classrooms and more classrooms!  Imagine that!

Just keep on holding on

Excerpt from Victoria Boyson’s email “Hannah’s Destiny”

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Promise Through the Pain
“In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord” (1 Samuel 1:10).

I have heard people say that God would not do anything to them that would cause them to suffer. They say, “God wants to bless me!” and I say, yes, God does want to bless us, but some of our greatest blessings come out of our greatest pain. If we do not experience the pain, it is more difficult for us to appreciate the blessings we are given. It did not please God to cause Hannah such misery, but He could see the future and He needed Samuel. The only way He could get the promise to her was through the pain.

God does see your struggle and your pain; He hurts with you and weeps with you. He is begging you not to give up, because He can see your future and it is great! “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).

The Lord’s presence remained with all of Israel through Samuel, because Hannah chose not to give up on the dream she had in her heart. She chose to believe that God loved her and saw her as special even when others did not.

If the Lord has given you a dream or a promise of something so wonderful that others cannot receive it, keep it hidden in your heart as a secret treasure, until the moment of its birth. Some things should be kept between you and the Lord. He is jealous for your heart and wants you to Himself. Do not look for acceptance from anyone but Him; hold onto the God who loves you. His will will be done!

Pray this with me:

Dear Father,

Keep alive in me all that You have promised me. Cause all the circumstances that I must walk through to turn me toward You, not away from You. Help me to seek You and Your approval, and not the approval of others.

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This email came at a very opportune time. It was the word of encouragement that I needed. One thing is for sure, God is good and His timing and ways are good. Thank You, Jesus. Help me to hold on and persevere.