just write

I’m hungry and quite exhausted from work but I just felt the need to write.  So many things in my mind that, I think, they’re all jumbled up in there.

One thing’s for sure:  I want to learn how to take pictures.  I mean really good pictures.  You see I stumbled on this photoblog where the pictures spoke volumes;  in loud volume.  I’m thinking “I wanna take pictures, Lord, where every shot showed a facet of God and His Kingdom realities.”

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Another thought:  For weeks now I’ve been mulling over the things I have learned from the door that God closed in my life.  One,  it taught me that, from now on, I should ask God to teach me how to be discreet and wise when it comes to relating with men.  Second, when God blesses He adds no sorrow to it. Third,  it’s important to forgive the one who has hurt you and – most importantly – yourself. 🙂  So I choose to forgive myself for the many mistakes connected to that door.  I choose to honor my brother – in word, in thoughts and in deeds.  I will only share what God will allow me to and only with the people I have covenant relationships with. 🙂

A line that I once shared with my students keeps repeating over and over like a last song syndrome — I once told them that when I’d get married, I’d think about the Philippines.  That was prophetic, I think.  The word that God gave me last LTRF 2010 was connected to that statement.  I am excited for that man God has promised me because even if I might not see him in the physical now I know that he is in God’s hands.  But my heart’s prayer is that I would set my eyes on the Promise Giver instead of the promise.

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I still dream of transforming this nation’s educational system.  I remember wondering sometime this week on my way to school “Lord, when will the time to walk out Your plan for me come?  But God, I want to be faithful in the place where You have called me and to learn everything that I can and need for where You are taking me.”

And then it hits me now as I am writing this:  Yes, I should look forward to that day when I will be fully walking in His will for me BUT today is just as important because I am sent out.  I have been sent out by the One who holds everything together, who holds all creation in the palm of His hands – JESUS.  Today is just important as tomorrow and the days to come because I am walking in the path where He’s taking me.  It’s been quite a revelation for me these days that God’s will simply means KNOWING & OBEYING God’s desire for me in every area of my life. 🙂

Oh, so many things in my heart but these are all for now.  I’ve to go and eat.  Two books are in my reading list this week:  Karen Kingsbury’s book about family and Cindy Jacobs’ Reformation Manifesto.  In the midst of reading the latter, God spoke to me about love.  Simple yet it just took my breath away.  Not only did it take my breath away, I was sobbing my heart out as His still small voice spoke so loudly to my hungry heart about real love.

I am not perfect and it’s okay…HE LOVES ME EVEN WHEN I’M NOT PERFECT.  How cool is that!  It’s  more awesome than a lotto jackpot, huh?

A revelation like this does things inside of you.  It set me free.

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