getting back up

This week has been quite a jumble of emotions.  The word I believed in last weekend about God being good has been sorely tested and shaken in whatever degree and from every side.  The good thing about reading King David’s Psalms is the fact that he also had days where his emotions went haywire and it was only through God’s hands that He could get back up.  I feel that way now.  I don’t know if this is just PMS or maybe because October 20 is fast approaching and it’ll be my last year on the calendar page.

Or maybe it’s because a very good and beloved friend who’s in the US has gotten engaged.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am happy for her but it also leads me to the question I try not to ask God “Where is he, Lord?”

I just found God’s ways of speaking to me really unfamiliar today.  He’s really breaking off the religiosity in me.  Now isn’t that obvious, Yen?  I’m not the type that’s familiar with a lot of songs but it started this morning as I got in the cab.

Miley Cyrus’ “The Climb” was playing on the radio as I got in and God used it to speak to me.  He spoke volumes through it.  After lunch, Rita Springer’s song came to my heart and my lips: “I don’t understand Your ways oh but I will give You my song, Give You all of my praise.”

Then this afternoon, right after my class, my co-teacher who loves Jesus too mentioned Justin Bieber’s Never say Never and when I searched for its lyrics “Whoa!” was it a now word for me.  To describe His ways as amazing is a cliche but it still is definitely amazing to see how God uses anything and anyone to speak to His beloved daughter who’s struggling to keep her head above the waves of doubt, fear and frustration.

Amazing grace.  How sweet the sound of God’s clarion call of grace.  I’m standing only because of His grace and mercy and love.  I am holding on to Your word that says “No good thing will you withhold from him who walks uprightly.”  Jesus, help me.

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